This notorious group gave this to us and said that they look forward to us coming out. After resisting to give them a swift roundhouse kick to the face, we looked back over our work. To our utter surprise, we have found that they were kind of right. Expect very soon for Cale and Jono to announce their marriage and for Zach to admit his real reason for loving fruity alcoholic drinks.

One day after taking a shit, we went outside to see on our doorstep a dead bird. And to the right of that was this award for excellence in excellence given by some guys in Iceland who recognize excellence all over the world, even on internet webcomic sites. You know, now that we think about it, we do have pretty excellent excellence.

Straight from the Childrens Sports Association, we were recently honored as the #1 pick for sports played by children of 10 years of age or younger. Defending this title for 8 years now, we posted this picture of the former swimming champion in the Little Swimmer's League in Portland, Oregon, a young lady that was absolutely crushed by Zach last year. Maybe it wasn't necessary to headbutt her after the last round, but he felt really good about the win.

We were delighted to find out that we have used variations of the color grey the most out of everyone on the entire internet. This is one of those situations where your "Thank you" has a question mark at the end. And no, we don't know whether it should be spelled g-r-e-y or g-r-a-y. Leave us alone.

These barely legal teens showed us love with this wonderfully high honor. Since then, we have donated over $25,000 to the Eagle Creek High School Cheerleader Squad. From it they've all gotten brand-new spandex uniforms, a full day spa and massage center, and even their own fully-loaded tour bus. And how could we say "no" when they asked us to fund their major movie relase starring Brad Pitt and Ben Stiller? It's never been sweeter to work four jobs for these upstanding young ladies that we daily wank to.

Why we're posting this award we're not sure, except that you could never ever turn down an award from the guy who played the fucking Terminator. The end.

After quickly analyzing our comic strip, the A.P.A.A. bestowed this achievement to us for how we take all of our frustration and suppressed emotions out through things like dick jokes, sex obsession, and literally having a semi-annual "Longest Crank Contest" in which we bust out the manhood and tape measure.

Michelle always wins...

How could we not cut a slice to the team that got us all that extra scratch? The 2006 season for pee-wee baseball was extremely lucrative for diagnosed gambling addicts like us. It doesn't matter if they won or not, because putting $5,000 on little Jeffrey hitting a homerun makes you a winner regardless, even after trying to explain to him how much that cost us and shaking him by the shoulders just a little too hard. We may not remember exactly how much we won after countless nights at Vegas brothels with our win money, but we do remember eating chicken fingers with children. It's funny how you forget months at a time when you're on meth.