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Music these days sounds pretty fucking same from band to band. You'd be hard-pressed to find a group that has a truly unique sound, not permitting the kazoo. It's for this reason that I wanted to bring in a little innovation of my own. What's the big fucking deal? If I remember right, Jono suggested that we have "a strong guitar front with layers of dynamic synth and a blend between actual percussion and intricate drum-machine work" or some stupid shit like that. No. My idea is better. And you can't take that away from me. Stop trying.
I came across a picture this week that absolutely baffled me, almost broke my brain. Of course, that's once my mind could comprehend things past the delightful noticing of my erection. I stumbled upon this picture of one of my favorite Internet models out there.
You paused for a second there, too, didn't you? Waiting for that final synapse in your cerebrum to fire, huh? For the more 'tarded demographic reading this right now (though they're probably not and instead just looking at the comic for all the bright, pretty colors as they touch the screen and then get angry that they can't eat all those wonderful colors), I'm referring to the costume Joanna is in.
Now, I'm a man. I get it. I see what they're trying to do here. "Hot cars" nowadays require hot women beside them for...well, for some fucking reason. Okay. That's fine. You guys go ahead with that. But for someone to say "Here, put on this and then stand next to the car," makes my left eye twitch in utter flabbergastation/flabbergastion/flabbergasticity (choose one). Usually, the car chicks are in bikinis. Has anyone ever questioned why? I mean, clearly the woman has no picnic basket full of beach essentials like sunscreen, a towel, a change of clothes, or camo tampons. Add this to the starkly obvious fact that there is no body of water anywhere fucking near the model. In the end, guys see boobies and the model ends up being extremely cold, maybe even hypothermic.
But instead of a model suffering temperature-induced and pants-shitting dementia, we have Joanna here...dressed as a nurse. Some photographer genius thought that it would be completely rational to put not only a model next to a car but to clad her in medical attire. I've seen things that are marketed to appeal to men, but this is fucking silly. The only thing missing in the picture is for her to be simultaneously holding a goddamn chili dog, or maybe a beer. I mean, if we're going to try to get men to stop so that they could look at something, let's go for broke.
And what am I supposed to be focused on? What's the deal here? Am I supposed to be admiring the car or the woman that's obscuring most of the car? In fact, I can't really admire the body of the car. I can only see the complicated engine inside. And even then, I can't make out details so that I can say something like, "Wow, that engine is well-assembled and probably goes ball-explodingly fast." Why? BECAUSE I HAVE SOME FUCKING WOMAN IN A DUMB NURSE COSTUME BLOCKING THE GODDAMN CAR.
So whatever this picture is trying to do other than make me go "Nurse HOT," it's failing horribly. It accomplishes absolutely nothing and is rendered in my mind forever without reason to exist, much like how I feel about vag-face.
Shit, I mean Zach.
Love and Light,
-Cale
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